My Confession

Almost a year ago I wrote this confession to the Rev.  I first posted it on my tumblr... and now I'm posting it here on my blogspot... Can any of you relate to the things I wrote in my "confession"?????

This is my complete confession started as a question to NastyReverend:

Reverend… I need to make a confession… While I was at church yesterday (okay guys, yes, even though my various blogs don’t look like I would, I do attend church), a fucking hot young guy in his early 20’s walked in and sat in front of me. Wow! He was so very good looking. Short hair, facial stubble, nice muscles, V-shaped body with broad shoulders and narrow hips… As the service began, we shook hands with those around us and he turned and gave me a firm masculine handshake and spoke to me. I thought I would melt right then and there. Our church is non-traditional with very contemporary music and we all stood to sing the songs which were accompanied by the vocalists, guitarists, keyboardist, and drummer. Damn, this hot dude who is taller than my 6’ height was standing in front of me with his muscles rippling through his sweater shirt. And then I noticed that he was flexing his ass cheeks, squeezing them together, releasing, squeezing again… drawing my eyes downward to them, making me watch his hot man ass. Did he know what he was doing to me… if I wasn’t careful, I would be having an erection right there in church during the service. Then he shifted his ass provocatively… Did he know I was watching him? Was he trying to get my attention? After the singing, we sat down. I noticed that he kept looking out of the corner of his eye glancing backward toward my direction. I didn’t hear the sermon (other than the fact that the preacher was talking about the road of recovery from addictions — fuckkkkkk, there is no way I can recover from my addiction to men!). My focus was on this man. He spread his legs and his jeans (no, we don’t dress up at our church) were stretched by his muscular legs, his thighs. He began to run his hand up and down his inner thigh… and I was thinking, “man, I want to do this to you… I want to feel those muscular legs… run my hands all the way up and down, feeling every square inch.” Then he brought his hands to his crotch and cupped his cock and balls with both his hands. Oh, fuck again… I was so damn excited… so wanting to have sex with him… Reverend, here I was in church and having all these sexual thoughts while sitting there looking at this gorgeous masculine young man! And while I am confessing, Reverend, I live a dual life… there is the ME that my family, my co-workers, my community see me as — the straight, married, masculine, family man. Most people do not know the other ME — the me that all of you on Tumblr, and DList, and A4A, and my other blogspot see me as… the guy who likes guys and gets fucking turned on by other guys. In reality, the two ME’s are combined into one — ME the bi-guy… yet very few of you know this… most think I am totally straight… Have I sinned, Reverend? Is it wrong to lust after this fucking hot dude in church? Is it wrong to live this dual life? Is it wrong to hide my “gay” side? I love my family, I love my wife and kids… they would be totally destroyed if they knew about the other side of ME. I enjoy fucking my wife and don’t want that to end… BUT I enjoy fucking guys and I sure don’t want that to end either! So here I am, Reverend. These are my confessions…